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Medical Jokes and Puns. Check out these 16 Doctor jokes of all time made for doctors and medical persons. You got your vision back! I hung him there to dry. One day, John suddenly dived into the deep end of the swimming pool. Warm Up Round: 5 Short and Funny Medical Jokes. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better. Q: Did you hear about the optometrist that fell into his lens grinding machine? Get him vitamins. The stranger says, "How about 20?" A Collection of short, funny Doctor and Medicine-related jokes! A: Three. This is Gasoline!" You've got your taste back. "Listen," says the doc, "I have migraines, too and the advice I'm going to give you isn't really anything I learned in medical school, but it's advice that I've gotten from my own experience. "By the way, Doc," the patient adds, "You have a REALLY nice house, An elderly husband and wife visit their doctor when they begin forgetting little things. And maybe write that down so you won't forget?" A: At first they are both pretty crappy but in the long run they feel pretty good! Medical Patient Joke. One to find a bulb specialist, one to find a bulb installation specialist, and one to bill it all to Medicare. I've had migraines for 17 years and this is the FIRST time anyone has ever helped me!" he asks. Q: What happened when the man tried to search for information about impotence on the Internet? Q: What's the medical term for owning too many dogs? Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! "No problem - a dish of ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream. When the doctor does his history and physical, he discovers that the poor guy has tried practically every therapy known to man for his migraines and STILL no improvement. Q: How do you tell the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? Then I get out of the tub, take her into the bedroom, and even if my head is killing me, I force myself to have sex with her. Read on these relatable funny medical jokes. I took our advice and it works! Q: What do you call 2 orthopedic doctors reading an EKG? Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. << See All of our Jokes Categories Here! Your daughter is using cocaine. You've got your memory back. Returning visitor? Soak your arm in warm water. “Where?” he asked. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message: Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. "Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. Dr replies, "No but it will keep the sheets off his legs!". When I first tried a new cough syrup, I had no idea what to expectorate. Q: Did you hear about the optometrist that fell into his lens grinding machine? Doctor Young: "Oh no you don't, that's Gasoline!" A: It was cordless! Your dog has worms. He immediately order David to be discharged from the mental hospital as he is OK. Dr. Young: "But this is only $500..." The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth." Later that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. "Nonsense," says the husband, "I can remember a dish of ice cream." Dr Young: "I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything." ", A man goes to the doctor with a long history of migraine headaches. Have you seen all jokes? The Egyptian man says, "No, not worth it." All sorted from the best by our visitors. A: Hopefully not your doctor. << We have over 150 Categories of Jokes on our Main Page! You have tennis elbow. Oh come on, you can admit it. Here's your $1000 back." A: At a mental hospital you have to show improvement to get out. A: A URLologist Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young's mouth." Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for medical assistance. Some of the most beautifully crafted, genuinely laugh-out-loud adult dirty jokes are so jaw-droppingly filthy that you'd feel a little weird even sharing them with a consenting adult at a bar after midnight. Doctor "Young," who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000. "Your tap water is too hard. 35 Dirty Jokes To Tell Your Friends That You Can’t Help But Laugh At. He put a sign up outside that said: "Get your treatment for $500 - if not cured get back $1,000." Nurse asks, "Do you think that will help?" Back to: Archived Jokes. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10.

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